the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
