yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
