Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
