There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
North Korea, Best Korea!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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