so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
