I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
it glows. i had to have it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
