Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
