I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize