I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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