I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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