I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
