The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
