Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
either way he was missing a nipple.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
