I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
