We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
