so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
