Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
