marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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