party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
