Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
