i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Alive.
So much puke
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
