This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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