You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
