better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
