i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Damn victory sex feels great
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
