If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
