were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
