RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
