you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
