Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
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