Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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