I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
