My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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