So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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