What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
