I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
