Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
