My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she peed on how many people?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
