found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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