i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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