What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
