Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
