Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
