she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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