I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
