my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
