i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
