You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
