I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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