haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
