Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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