When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
