So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
