i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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